Last post of the Decade

I just thought I'd try to get in one last post before the ball drops, and we start a new decade. Oh, and if you're one of those types who believe the new decade doesn't start until 2011, please take your meds and lay down for a while.

Earlier this month I published a post on the December 1982 issue of Electronic Games Magazine. In that post I said I planned to feature more gifts and fun stuff from the magazine in upcoming posts, and so as promised, here's one of them.

The insane ad above from United Microware Industries, Inc. for their AMOK video game has to be one of the most ill conceived ads ever. It's such a bizarre mix of imagery. Fellow blogger, Kurt at Gaming After 40, has a different "mime ad" if you wish to see more of this incomprehensible ad campaign.

I can only assume the ad designer was a friend, or maybe the mime was the daughter of the company owner. If you removed the mime, the remaining fantasy art is pretty good and you'd have a decent and more effective ad for your 1982 video game.

Christmas Hope and/or Disappointment

We're smack-dab in the middle of the holiday season, and for me the holidays are always a mixed bag of emotions. It's possible to start the season with a heart full of hope and joy, but only find the cold slap of sobering reality as that wonderful Christmastime fails to live up to expectations. Most of us have experienced this before I think.

I received an anonymous comment on my Better Homes and Garden December 1963 post that just might be a microcosm of this yuletide scenario, or maybe I'm simply stretching something beyond reason in a lame attempt for comedic effect. Well, whatever the case might be here is the comment...

Hey David,

Great Blog.

I was wondering if there are directions for an Angel made of paper in that issue. I'm looking for those directions and you're the first person that seems to actually own that issue. Thanks for helping out a total stranger, if you can.

Thanks for the compliment about my blog Anonymous. I'm happy to try to help out during this festive time of year. I had hoped to find those paper angel directions for you, but I must tell you up front, I didn't exactly find you're looking for.

I flipped thru the magazine looking for paper angels. On page 40 there is this paper angel hanging on the wall...


And then on page 48 there's these tabletop paper angels...

Each of these these pics have a footnote to a "Buying Guide" page number that can tell you where to buy things like the bedding and the glassware respectively. But disappointingly no directions on how to make them.

However, if you're (or anyone reading this) interested, the Wise Men from the cover have instructions on how to make them...


Also there are these medieval squire and maid figures on page 41...

And unlike those angel pics, if you look closely at the top you'll see they have a "How-to" on page 80...


So here's the instructions and pattern fromn page 80...

Although I didn't find any instructions for a paper angel, it's not time to totally give up hope yet Anonymous. My copy of this December 1963 issue of Better Homes and Gardens is not 100% intact. There are a few pages that were removed from the back that might have had the directions. If you're sure there are directions for a paper angel in this issue my suggestion is that you check Ebay. There were a number of sellers offering this very issue of the magazine at the time of this writing.

Well, at the very least this gives me an opportunity to post two more fun holiday themed retro ads from this issue...

When was the last time you saw a Santa Mister Magoo in a advertisement? I apologize for the text on the right side getting cut off.

How about this swell and very pink ad for 7 Up. I wish 7 Up would return to this style of logo design.

Better Homes and Gardens December 1963

So I was looking at some retro Christmas stuff in an issue of Better Homes and Gardens from December 1963 when I discovered something that is the very definition of quasi-interesting...

I don't know if these Ronson Varaflame Gas Candles are super cheesy, or ingeniously cool. I do know that I'm rather fascinated with the concept of a gas powered "candle." Maybe this sort of futuristic candle technology was simply ahead of their time since these things never caught on with the public.

Another fun ad I found was for Comet cleanser featuring Josephine, TV's lady plumber. Although this was before my time, I am familiar with the "Josephine" ad campaign. Jane Withers played Josephine, and is she ever a spark-plug...



Who can forget commercials like that.

I thought maybe someone might have built a shrine to Josephine so I did a quick Google search. Unfortunately if you search "Josephine lady plumber" it brings up a bunch of angry political blogs who've made a lot of lame jokes comparing Josephine to "Joe the plumber" usually with the aid of some badly Photoshopped pic of an old Comet ad.

Well maybe people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, but I won't tolerate those kind of shenanigans here. Here on my blog, I'm very proud to present the largest, cleanest and completely unblemished Comet ad featuring Josephine, TV's lady plumber that you can find anywhere on the Internet.

If I could, I'd like to give those political bloggers a good smack with a sock filled with wet manure. You don't mess with a classic advertising icon on my watch folks.

Unique Haunted Attraction Ad #1: Wonka's Fear Factory

From the 2001 Fear Finder...

To the best of my knowledge this particular attraction ran only one season, but I'm sure that damn boat ride was terrifying.

Early 70's 3M Surveillance Camera System brochure

I'm not a big PC type of guy, but I got to admit the cover of this brochure is pretty sexiest.

This was a very bad day at the bank.

I love the guy they got to portray the bank robber - very old time movie gangster-like

Once the surveillance equipment is installed, robbery by old time movie gangsters will be a thing of the past.

Are there any surveillance systems in operation today that still use film?

We're Living on Borrowed Time

I love priceless kook fodder like the above ad.

About 10 years ago I came across a stash of old UFO magazines, and I found this ad so amusing that I clipped it out and filed it away with a collection of my "weird" stuff.

I'm confident I remember seeing this same ad reprinted in the other old UFO magazines with only the date changed (e.g."Will you be alive in 1984"). Heck, it still might be reprinted in magazines today for all I know.

But if it's still being printed I hope they've updated the "Space Brothers" art. I don't know about you, but I prefer my extraterrestrials to have a little better fashion sense.