A couple of days ago I met a mysterious one-armed stranger through the friend of a friend cousin's half-sister (twice removed) at midnight on a Chinese junk in the middle of the Adriatic Sea. The stranger handed me, using his one good arm of course, a brown paper package tied up with string which just happens to be one of my favorite things.
I took the package, and quickly made it back to my awaiting dirigible where my robot pilot flew me home. When I opened the package I was startled to find a classified government video recording from the early 1970's. I was even more startled once I watched it, and knew I needed to share it with the world.
But first there was that wacky Mayan end-of-the-world thing on Friday. I spent that day wrapped in aluminum foil, and curled up in the fetal position under my basement stairs. Some apocalypse that was. What a jip! Talk about being dressed up with no place to go.
Anyways, with that nuttiness all behind us it's time to finally share this video with the world. This tape blows the pants off anything that WikiLeaks punk has ever posted...
Merry Christmas folks, and have a Happy New Year!