Letter from Hostess

Here's one last food related post before the month ends.  With the mess that happened over at Hostess this month I thought I might as well post about something that was sent to me last month...

I regularly buy Beefsteak Pumpernickel Bread exclusively for making sandwiches. That is I use to buy Beefsteak Pumpernickel Bread since it's currently unavailable.

I like the bread just fine, but the signature domed shape of the Beefsteak Bread line can make sandwich making challenging.  The first few slices are always going to make a small sandwich, but sometimes the first slice is so small it's unusable.  Occasionally the first slice is about the size of a poker chip, and that's a problem when there's an even number of slices per bag - you're going to be a slice short went you get to the end of the loaf.

So I called the customer support number on the bread bag, and told the courteous support person my problem.  A week later I had two coupons for a free loaf of Beefsteak Bread.  At the time I didn't know they were owned by Hostess...

I hope Hostess will return soon.

Morton Donut Shop Frozen Donuts

Morton Donut Shop frozen donuts was a 1970's product that lasted about as long as plaid polyester bell-bottoms were fashionable.  Which is my way of saying the product wasn't around to ring in 1980.  Check out the magazine ad...

Is there a full grown adult anywhere who actually dreams about donuts?

Probably the main reason this product didn't last was the fact it was frozen.  I mean who wants wait for their donuts to thaw before eating them. For example, if you read the directions on this box of Morton Donut Shop Boston Creme Donuts (uploaded to Flickr by JasonLiebig) it took a lengthy 2 hours to thaw...

Also most everyone in the country has a real donut shop within a short driving distance of their home.  If you really wanted a freshly made donut in the 70's there was probably a Dunkin' Donuts just around the corner...



Munchkins donuts and Mason Reese go together like ham and eggs, peanut butter and jelly, or Pop Rocks and Coke. 

The Birth of Instant Stuffing

I don't know if you heard, but it's the 40th anniversary of instant stuffing.  Stove Top stuffing was introduced to a grateful public back in 1972.  Check out this magazine ad from 1973...

And of course, the rest is history. Soon people everywhere were quick to choose Stove Top stuffing instead of potatoes...



Seeing that old General Foods logo was one of those, "Oh, yeah I remember that thing" kinda moments.

If you're wondering what happened to General Foods, they merged with Kraft back in 1990.

Anyway, when Stove Top was introduced it didn't have the market to its self for very long.  Almost immediately there were competitors, like Uncle Ben's Stuff'n Such seen in this 1973 ad...

Uncle Ben's Stuff'n Such didn't last.  Maybe it didn't catch on since it was baked, and took longer to prepare than Stove Top.  Or maybe it failed because it was called Uncle Ben's Stuff'n Such.

Although Uncle Ben had another bold new product back in 1973 up his sleeve, Uncle Ben's 5 Minute Rice & Gravy...

Rice and gravy in the very same box was probably a product ahead of its time.  I still don't think the world is ready.

  

Taste the Rainbow... of Cheese

I think it's safe to say the golden age of Kraft Singles was probably the early 70's.  Today there's only a few varieties of Kraft Singles available in your grocers dairy case, but according to this magazine ad from 1973 there once was an impressive 11 varieties available...

... and if you were overwhelmed by all those choices here's the text heavy supporting page with helpful recipe ideas to guide your Singles selections.

That wasn't the end of the 70's Kraft cheese varieties either.  Today if you want  Kraft brand finely processed cheese loaves all you have is Velveeta, but in 1973 there were three loaves varieties to choose from...

Here's a 1970's Kraft Singles commercial (followed by a Dristan Nasal Mist, and
Purina Cat Chow commercial), and an epic 70's Kraft Cheese commercial featuring the "Ballard of J.L. Kraft."



Switching gears to ice cream topping, Kraft was all over it in 1973.  Just like the Kraft Singles this ad shows there were once 11 toppings to choose from, and a there's a coupon for 11¢ off for good measure.  Somewhere Nigel Tufnel is happy...

In case this ad has you hankering for some Kraft toppings, sadly Kraft is totally out of the ice cream topping business today.

Everthing is Food Machines*

It's the month of the big turkey feast, and that means a month of food related posts here on ye olde QIPI.

I thought I'd kick things off with a look at food machines. If you ask me appliance manufactures need to really step up their game.  It's almost 2013, and I  want futuristic machines that will actually prepare and cook the food for you like the Jetson's Foodarackacycle...

I won't be happy until all my food is prepared entirely robotically, and therefore completely untouched by human hands.  I'd take that over flying cars any day.

In the meantime we'll have to make due with not-so-futuristic food processors. The built-in Ronson Foodmatic seen in this ad from 1973 looks like the Cadillac of food processors...

The internet tells me that Frank Sinatra supposedly had one of these installed in his kitchen.  That's a pretty good endorsement. I'm sure Old Blue Eyes demanded only the best.  I wonder if the rest of the Rat Pack got one too.

If the Ronson Foodmatic is too rich for your blood, there's always the Veg-O-Matic...



...or how about the Kitchen Magician...



Hmm, seems almost as impressive as one of David Blaine's stunts. Although the Kitchen Magician sure looks a lot like the Salad Queen...




* Sung to the tune of "Everything is Food" from the 1980 motion picture Popeye.

Love Stinks

Here's a very 'sexy' magazine ad from 1973 for stinky cheese...

This Liederkranz cheese ad uses words like "sensuous" and "lusty" to describe its smell, but over on Dave's Cupboard his Liederkranz review and reader comments use words like "flatulent," "outhouse" and "rotten socks on a humid August day."

If you didn't already know by now, Liederkranz is the American version of Limburger cheese.  Also interestedly, Liederkranz returned to the market in 2010 after a 25 year absence.

Well although the ad's copywriter tries hard, it's difficult to make any sort of cheese sexy.  The makers of the erotic eighties film Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986) knew this, and excluded la fromage from the famous food scene...



... hmm, maybe it's just me, but this seems like a big mess that would need to be cleaned up after your done.

Best Commercial Ever

This 1960's commercial by the great Stan Freberg for Banquet Frozen Dinners in my opinion is the best commercial in the world...



I wish I knew the name of the actress who plays Cynthia the housewife. She is absolutely amazing. I can tell you that Stan Freberg is also one of the men doing the voice over on this spot (Stan usually does the V.O. work on his commercials).

FYI: For those who might be wondering, I've had my hands full lately, and probably won't be posting very much for a while. Hope to resume a weekly-ish schedule in a about a month or two.

The Koogle Conundrum

And so another small piece of the great Koogle puzzle falls into place with this post.

What the heck is Koogle you might ask?

Koogle was a flavored peanut butter manufactured in the 1970's by Kraft Foods. Let's take a look at the commercial...



In researching this post I couldn't find anyone on Internet who actually liked this stuff. It seems this was the type of product you begged your mother to buy, and then once you tried it you didn't want it ever again.

Koogle was featured in the fun book Krazy Kids' Food co-authored by personal Internet acquaintance Dan Goodsell.

Buy the Book!

On page 158 is a picture of a vacuum formed store display of the Kooglenut monster and page 159 is a jar of the chocolate flavored Koogle.

There's a lost commercial featuring the Kooglenut monster that would be sure swell to see. Hopefully a resourceful YouTuber will upload it one day.

Anyways here's my addition to the Koogle Internet Archives - a scan from the lid of a jar of Vanilla Koogle.

Check out those ingredients

Partially hardened vegetable oils must be 1970's speak for partially hydrogenated vegetable oil. Sugar and dextrose is technically the same thing - so this is like Sugar². This stuff must have tasted sickeningly sweet.

Kellogg's Factory Tour

In a time before corporate espionage, and excessive OSHA regulations (or so I'm told) there once was a popular factory tour of America's favorite breakfast cereal company...


Here's full color pamphlet to tell you all you wanted to know about the Kellogg's corporation, and the most important meal of the day...










I took the factory tour when I was a kid. I don't remember much about it, but we all had to wear paper hats since we were entering a factory were a food product was being manufactured.

Yes that is a hat.

Parts of the factory were so noisy the hostess would point to a poster explaining what was going on. After the tour was over we were each given a Kellogg's Cereal Variety Pak. For the kids, they also had a selection of "cereal toys" (you know, the cheap old fashioned plastic toy you'd find at the bottom of the cereal box) to fill your pockets with.

The factory tours ended in 1986. If anyone out there remembers taking the tour, and would like to add your 2 cents please leave a comment.

Happy Halloween... I'm exhausted

Hey gang it's finally Halloween, and I'm exhausted.

Although I didn't participate in the whole official Halloween Countdown thing it sure felt like I did. Sadly I wanted to do one last Haunted Mansion animation for Halloween, but I just didn't have the time. It was going to be my most elaborate one too, but I'm putting it on the back burner for now. Don't worry, I'll have it completed one of these days.

Well I guess I should give you something for your Trick-or-Treat bag... Oh look, I've got a box of Universal Studios Monster Cookies from 1998 for you!

Celebrate The Season With Kraft

Two things have come to my attention:

1. The holidays are upon us.

2. This blog is so very neglected.

Well to rectify this situation, and offer a little pre-holiday helpful information I present to you a collection of classic Kraft recipe commercials.

Kind YouTubers have posted these wonderful commercials for which I'm very Thankful. Kraft doesn't make these special holiday recipe spots anymore, and if you're anything like me watching these is pure 110% nostalgia. Just the sound of the narrator's voice, Ed Herlihy, makes me all warm and fuzzy.




After watching these spots it makes me want to try the recipes. If any of you reading this give the recipes a try be sure to let me know how it turned out.

Do the Roo!

French Fry bag circa 1985-ish

Beef-A-Roo.

It sounds made up, but it's the name of an actual restaurant chain. It's a very, very small chain, but a chain nevertheless.

While on a family trip to Michigan's upper peninsula in the 80's we ate at the Beef-A-Roo in Marquette, Michigan. I even saved the above fry bag because I thought the name was so funny.

MySpace picture

I'm happy to report the Marquette Beef-A-Roo appears to be still in business, and even has an unauthorized MySpace page.


It's nice to see it has retained its retro style graphics. It's not only nice, but downright amazing if you check out what the official web site looks like. (Well it's kinda sorta the "official" web site. The web site is only for the Illinois Beef-A-Roo stores.)

Web Site

Look at that logo! Awful souless early 90's crap! It painfully lacks the charm of the original font and the fun cartoon cowboy graphic.

If anyone reading this can shed any light on the Beef-A-Roo story (like the relationship between the Marquette restaurant, and the ones in Illinois), or know of other locations please leave a comment.