Flintstones Vitamin Poster of Bedrock

If you're a fan of that famous modern stone-age family, and have been searching for a cartoon 'fun map' of Bedrock search no further.  Get ready for an internet exclusive (presented this clearly at least) with this Flintstones Vitamin promotional poster from 1970...

Click to POSTER-SIZE!

Here's a close-up of the "History of Bedrock" text, and its sketchy information of a mysterious "tribe of twelve families" that founded Bedrock.

Another mystery is the little known first leader of Bedrock - Cornelius Granitebuilt.  How little known is Cornelius Granitebuilt you might wonder. According to Google this is the first time the name "Cornelius Granitebuilt" has been written on the Internet.  Well whoever he was, Cornelius was important enough to have a hospital named after him complete with a bust of his likeness placed outside.

Also Cornelius Granitebuilt is craved into Bedrock's Mount Rockmore, and that seems fitting for the first leader of Bedrock.  Sometime later Fred, Barney and Dino were bestowed this honor.  Not bad for a guy who works at a quarry, and another guy who works... well, wherever Barney works, and a pet dinosaur.

It wouldn't be Bedrock without lots of stone-age versions of modern day landmarks with one of the words replaced with a similar sounding rock or mineral.  Although it doesn't have the prestige of something like the "Empire Slate Building" I'm kinda fascinated with the County Quartz House.

Probably my favorite thing in this poster are the Bedrock Playground's very literal, and therefore wildly impractical monkey-bars.

In case you forgot who's responsible for this poster here's the Flintstones Factory the very place that makes those delicious chewable Flintstones Vitamins.

I found an early Flintstones Vitamins commercial featuring the Flintstones Factory. This commercial answers the important question, "Are there child labor laws in Bedrock?" Also check out that very off-model Dino...



J.R. Wainwright is the name of the artist who signed this poster.  I think J.R. did a great job, and it wouldn't surprise me if he worked for Hanna-Barbera - but I can't find any info to support that. If you happen to know anything about J.R. Wainwright please leave a comment.

And just to be complete, for those who like to read the fine print, here's the fine print...

The Toy Newspaper

Whoa, April is almost over and I haven't made a single post this month. Time still flies even when you're not really having fun.

Anyways, in my last post I posted a mock newspaper movie promotion, and now I'm back with another one I've managed to scrounge up.

Here's a mock newspaper promotion for the vaguely raciest 80's comedy The Toy (1982)...





... and as always here's a little something from YouTube.

Capricorn One Newspaper

Did Capricorn One (1978) help create, or simply add fuel to the fire of those wacky moon landing hoax conspiracies? I don't know the answer to that. In fact I've never seen the movie, but I did find this promotional mock newspaper...

Click to read all about it

If you clicked the image to actually read that thing you noticed that every single article mentions the movie's cast and/or crew. I don't know why they thought they needed to "tip their hand" like that. They should have played it completely straight like it was actual news. I don't think anyone would have mistaken it for a real newspaper since this was on the back...


I think all those listed Metro Detroit movie theaters are all gone now. Well as always here's the TV spot...

Police Academy Official Entrance Exam

In my last post I had a quiz, and now I'm back with an exam.

It's the official entrance exam for the original comedy "classic" Police Academy (1984)...


It's not quite as funny as that Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982) mock quiz I posted last time, but hey, where else on the internet are you gonna find this thing.

There's a rumor that a Police Academy 8 is in development, and is supposed to be released in 2012. So mark your calendars, or consider yourself warned.

Anyways, here's the trailer for the original just because...

Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid

Here's another magazine pull-out poster promotion I found. This time it's for the Steve Martin comedy Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid (1982). It's a mock quiz that's actually pretty funny and cleaver, and it makes me wonder if Steve Martin himself helped with the writing...

Read the story of Detecto-Vision

Finally here's the poster...

... and here's the trailer too!

A Change of Seasons

It's that time of year again, and that means it's time for the holiday classic A Change of Seasons (1980).

A CHANGE OF SEASONS: Movie Trailer. Watch more top selected videos about: Mary Beth Hurt, Richard Lang

Man, I love it when TNT plays this movie for 24 hours straight starting on Christmas Eve... OK, I'm teasing.

I don't think anyone even thinks about this film anymore. Not even the people who made it.

In 1980 this was a "big" holiday movie for 20th Century-Fox. I'm not kidding, take a look at this pull-out poster promotion which was published in national magazines...


Oh hey, it's a naked and wet Bo Derek. Now that she's caught our eye, let's turn the page and see what else we can find...


No more Bo, but we now have Anthony Hopkins and Shirley MacLaine in bed. This is all sorta like a comic book version of the trailer.


On the third page is more of the cast, and more of the "lover" talk. Wow that word is way overused here. Do people even use that word much anymore? I think it makes everything sound rather dated.

Just to be complete here's the last page which has a short bio on the principle actors...

Finally let's open this thing up and take a look at the poster...


It's a fun poster with an all naked cast, and a cartoon-ish leering bear rug and moose head wearing a Santa hat. This movie looks like a wacky sex comedy.

The poster art is by Robert Tanenbaum, and this is one of the last movie posters he worked on before moving on to other things.

Maybe Robert just gave up working on movie posters in disgust because his poster art wasn't officially used for this film. If you visited a movie theater 30 years ago this was the poster you saw for A Change of Seasons.


It's no longer the wacky comedy, but something more sexy and sophisticated. The marketing people took a shot from the infamous "hot tub scene," and replaced the leering bear and moose with a pic of a leering Shirley MacLaine.

It's not as fun as the illustrated poster, but at least it was better then this budget tri-color poster. I don't know exactly what's going on with composition here, but they sure want you to know Bo Derek is in this film - she's pictured on this poster three times...

Here's the provocative Swedish poster which uses a more risque "hot tub scene" picture, and a pair of illustrated disembodied human legs engaged in some kind of adult activity. According to the Google Translator the title reads "talk about left-rustling" whatever that means...

A Change of Seasons is available on DVD, and the cover art is very conservative and uninspired. The hot tub pic is colorized and placed in the background, and thee photos of stars placed prominently in the foreground. Also it now looks like a very autumn-like movie to me...


Lastly here's A Change of Seasons poster from Turkey? India? I have no idea...

That artist is no Robert Tanenbaum, and that image of Bo is not from this film either. It's from one of Bo's many sexy photo shoots...

Well this concludes my most steamy blog post ever, and just in time to kick of the jolly holiday season too.

Merry Christmas fellas.

Sir K. Daver's Mortuary Theater

Yes it's time for another Channel 12 holiday promo (you can check out my Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter and Valentine's promos if you'd like to see more)...



I remember thinking this was an epic production way back when. I made the candelabras, the gravestones, Lover's Lane sign and a cobweb machine (which I explained how to make here). Today you can buy a fog machine at the corner drugstore for about $19.99, but back then they were a bit more rare. I borrowed mine from the local fire department. Did it all turn out perfect? No, but I was pretty satisfied with the results.

Dennis Moylan played the faux horror movie host Sir K. Daver. Looking back, I'm thinking I should have given Dennis some sort of ghoulish makeup to wear to make him look cadaverous.

Bob Hamlin, (who played the Pilgrim in my Thanksgiving promo) played the Zombie. Bob Zimmerman and Sue Duminsky play the high school lovers. Bob and Sue had never met before the shoot, and I forced them to kiss on camera. I still feel kinda dirty about it to this day.

Revenge of the Creature in 3D

Last year I ran a series of posts about 3D glasses. Most of the 3D glasses I have were from TV promotions, and here's a flier for one such promotion - Revenge of the Creature...

Farmer Jack was a once popular, but now defunct Metro Detroit based supermarket chain. I can't find a single Farmer Jack commercial on YouTube, but someone called Skiz316 has uploaded the entire Farmer Jack jingle...

Valentine's Day in 2012

Here we go again with a blast from my past.

It's another Channel 12 holiday promo (you can check out my Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter promos if you'd like to see more)...



Looking beyond the shaky video quality, I think it's still pretty entertaining. Maybe you noticed how the areas on the left and bottom edge of the set were visible, but back in the day because of the bezels that surrounded old television picture tubes that was never visible like it is now.

Turkey Day Surprise

Here we go again with a moldy oldie from my past.

It's another Channel 12 holiday promo (you can check out my Christmas, and Easter promos if you'd like to see more)...




This was one of my favorite holiday promos, and I was rather proud on how it all turned out.

It has good production value for something made for under ten bucks. Thanks to my mom for making the wonderful Pilgrim costume with almost nothing to work with. Also thanks to my actor, Bob Hamlin, (wherever you are today) for being a great Pilgrim.

About the only thing I wish I had, and it bothered me at the time was a blunderbuss for the Pilgrim's rifle (or as I liked to call it the "Uncle Fester rifle").

Also it would have been nice to have a big fake anvil to use instead of the "ye ciment blok." Some people have pointed out to me that it's misspelled. Yes I know that, it's intentionally misspelled. This was supposed to be a time before Noah Webster, and standardized spelling.

My Easter Promo: The Littlest Easter Egg

Do they even make television Easter specials anymore?

When I was a child there was always some sort of Rankin/Bass animated network special to look forward to watching. Shows like Here Comes Peter Cottontail which attempted to explain just who the heck this mysterious Easter Bunny was...



It was in the spirit of those holiday specials that I created this late 80's promo for the local community access channel.

Yes it's another blast from my past! Just like my Channel 12 Christmas promo, I share with you now another one of my first video creations - the Channel 12 Easter promo...



People seemed to like this promo a lot more than I expected. Even back in the day I thought it was terribly, terribly crude. I don't know, but maybe people always enjoy an underdog story no matter how crudely it's told.

A Regifted Christmas

For the holiday season I've always tried to do something uniquely special to show my love for my fellow humans at this joyous time of year. Nothing store bought will do. Oh no, it has to be something merry and festive that was created personally by me.

In the past I created my own Christmas cards, and in recent years, Christmas animations. I fully intended to carry on the tradition this year, but for various reasons I just never got around to making something.

So not to disappoint, I dug up something from the distant past I made. It's a video created on antiquated 3/4 inch equipment - which is now a completely extinct format. In a dark time when everything was analog, and the idea of digital non-linear editing was the stuff of science fiction.

I bring you the Channel 12 Community Access Christmas promo...



This was probably the first creative thing I ever got paid to do, and I made a channel promo for every major holiday. I thought about enhancing it with some flashy new graphics, or something, but except for the use of the Dr. Frankenstein ID I left this in all its questionable VHS quality glory.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Burger Chef Star Wars Poster In-Store Decoration

Last week I posted about an unauthorized set of Star Wars business cards which I assumed would be a Quasi-Interesting Paraphernalia Inc. exclusive. But nope, after I published that post I discovered that someone had beaten me to it by a good number of years (although I have the superior scans).

Well this time it's different. I'm bringing you a Star Wars World Wide Web exclusive! Ladies and gentlemen, I proudly present a Burger Chef Star Wars Poster In-Store Decoration...



This cardboard mobile hung from the ceiling of the Burger Chef restaurants (a now defunct fast food chain in case anyone was wondering) during a 1978 Star Wars posters promotion. Check out this cool television commercial...



Well there you have it. You won't find this particular bit of Stars Wars memorabilia anywhere on the interwebs.

Now is there anyone reading this who would care to make me an offer on this rare bit of Star Wars memorabilia?

There's Something About Mary Hair Gel

In 1998 at advance screenings for There's Something About Mary the audience were given little packets of hair gel. The packets were covered with risque double entendre jokes. If you liked the film you should get a kick out of the jokes. As always click the pics to enlarge.

Front

Back

Personally I don't know how well the hair gel works. I've kept mine safely sealed in its little foil packet. I'm sure it's a fine untainted product, but why take chances.