Where is he now?

I'm back with a little update on my whereabouts for those who care.  I'm now doing a weekly advertising parody videos on my new YouTube channel called Mock-O-Matic (you know, it sounds like the classic Ronco Veg-O-Matic).

I'll be honest with you guys, I don't know how well I can keep up with a weekly video.  These things take more time to create than you can imagine, and I was hoping I could keep a week or two ahead of schedule  but I'm now right down to my Thursday deadline.  For example, I didn't start recording the voice-over until midnight on October 30 for my Halloween video!  Therefore it was uploaded in a very rushed condition, but I eventually went back to finessed things a little.  Here's my new and improved version...



I have other "funny" video ideas like commercials supposedly created by animals.  Just think about what animals could want/need, and imagine what that commercial might look like...


Because they are animals they have a very strange and different looking video format, and everything is subtitled for us humans to follow. Here's another one...


Well I hope you liked that.  If you did please remember like, subscribe and favorite!  Hope to see you over at Mock-O-Matic.

Classified Christmas Cover-Up

A couple of days ago I met a mysterious one-armed stranger through the friend of a friend cousin's half-sister (twice removed) at midnight on a Chinese junk in the middle of the Adriatic Sea.  The stranger handed me, using his one good arm of course, a brown paper package tied up with string which just happens to be one of my favorite things.

I took the package, and quickly made it back to my awaiting dirigible where my robot pilot flew me home.  When I opened the package I was startled to find a classified government video recording from the early 1970's.  I was even more startled once I watched it, and knew I needed to share it with the world.

But first there was that wacky Mayan end-of-the-world thing on Friday.  I spent that day wrapped in aluminum foil, and curled up in the fetal position under my basement stairs. Some apocalypse that was. What a jip! Talk about being dressed up with no place to go.

Anyways, with that nuttiness all behind us it's time to finally share this video with the world.  This tape blows the pants off anything that WikiLeaks punk has ever posted...


Merry Christmas folks, and have a Happy New Year!

Crazy Christmas Cavalcade: Ice Skating Wonderland

Seasons greetings all ye merry gentlemen, and gentleladies! I bring you tidings of great joy.  I'm creating a series of short heartwarming Christmas specials that are destined to become holiday classics, or quick cheap jokes that are sure to be forgotten immediately after viewing.

Either way please enjoy my video creation that's the virtual embodiment of the yuletide spirit...



I don't know how many of these things I'll make.  I have a few more ideas that I'd like to try to get to before the "fat man" slides down the chimney.

Adventures Of Isabel

Back in September I was searching for something school related to post about, and so I flipped through an elementary school reading book published in 1965 by the Scott, Foresman and Company titled Ventures...

Ventures cover

 ... I didn't find much, but the illustrations for the poem Adventures Of Isabel by Ogden Nash really caught my attention.  They were so fun looking, and the subject matter was sorta scary so I thought it would make for a good Halloween post.  Well I never got around to posting this back in October, but since there's good deal of eating in this poem, and November is month for that big turkey feast, this poem is still fitting...

These great illustrations are by Rod Ruth.  I hoped to find a wealth of information about Rod at the blog Today's Inspiration.  Today's Inspiration celebrates classic illustrators of the 20th century with a comprehensive collection of their work, but there was nothing on Rod Ruth.  In fact it looks like Rod Ruth has sorta fallen through the cracks of the vast Internets.

The best source for Rod Ruth illustrations is at a blogger acquaintance of mine - The Haunted Closet.  Here you can find Ruth's expert illustrations of monsters and dinosaurs.

Well, with no biographical information available, wherever you are Mr. Ruth, I'd just like to say you're an exceptionally accomplished illustrator, and I admire your work very much.

If you'd like to hear Ogden Nash recite his poem accompanied by the illustrations of Rod Ruth, check out the little video I've made...

Yes, Virginia, there is a Goblin Shark

"My mommy always said there were no monsters - no real ones - but there are."

- Newt  Aliens (1986)

This thing has been kicking around the 'nets' for a while now, but in case you've missed it let me introduce you to the Goblin Shark.  It's a real life creature that seems to have a little bit of Alien DNA...

One-One-One One

Last year I posted the Best Fails of 2009. It was pretty hilarious, and little bit painful to watch. So if you can stand more painful human injury (some of it very painful, yikes!) here we go again with the Fail Compilation 2010...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

... And just for balance here's the Win Compilation 2010 (it's not as funny, but it's pain free).

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Now I've got to figure out what the hell I'm gonna post this year.

Video Toy Chest

In 1990 the now defunct toy store chain Child World / Children's Palace presented a "Video Toy Chest " or "A Toy Catalog on Videotape." More accurately it was basically a bunch of toy commercials with short entertainment bits performed by a mostly child cast stitched in between each ad.

If you have fond childhood memories of this rarity, and wished you could see it again you're in luck. Just in time for Christmas I've uploaded it to YouTube, and embedded it below. The whole "show" runs about 37 minutes. I don't expect many people would want to sit through the entire program, so as a courtesy I thought I should list all the commercials in the "Toy Chest" so you can try and skip to your favorite toy (or skip it all together).

Here's are a list of the commercials you'll see in part 1: Children's Palace, Dance Magic Barbie, Disney Huglight Mickey, Disney Activity Gym, Hot Wheels Sto 'N Go, Lil Miss Magic Hair, Magic Nursery Baby, McGruff the Crime Dog PSA, Lanky Doodle, Motor Mouth, Bo Jackson Electronic Baseball/Football, Double Dragon II Electronic Game, Noteability, Game Talk Tiger's Baseball All Stars, Bubble Bears

Still with me? Here's the ads in part 2: Huffy Sonic 6, Fisher-Price Magic Vac, Fisher-Price Rocker Pony, Fisher-Price Post Office, Fisher-Price Pop-Up Playhouse, Fisher-Price Kitchen, Fisher-Price Super Wagon, Fisher-Price Fire Pumper, Tyco Typhoon Hovercraft, Quints, Bongo Congo, My Pretty Ballerina, Spy Tech, Bases Loaded II Second Season Nintendo Game, Playskool Flat Folks, Playskool Express, Mall Madness

We're almost done, here are the commercials in part 3: Captain Skyhawk Nintendo Game, Cabal Nintendo Game, Matchbox Carousel Collection, Matchbox Motorcity Sounds of Service Garage, Play-Doh Dinner, Acclaim Double Player Wireless Controllers, Double Dragon II Nintendo Game, Back to the Future II & III Nintendo Game, 90 Second Shoot Out, Teddy Ruxpin, Disney Little Boppers, Hush Little Baby, Girl Talk, Crayola Kits

So without any further delay, let's take a look back at the toys of 1990...


Alright I admit it, when it comes to cool commercial collections what we have here is quantity over quality.

Although maybe you're not into the whole retro commercial deal. I can dig it. So how about that Toy Television Network? The production while a bit cheesy and dated is pretty well done don't you think? The writing could be a lot sharper, and some of the stuff the cast has to do is a little cringe worthy today (and probability back in the day too).

Speaking of the cast let's take a look at where some of them are now...

Jerry Lobozzo in 1990 and today

Besides the poor woman trapped in that storybook costume, the only other adult actor is Jerry Lobozzo. Time as been very kind to Jerry. He still looks basically the same, and still has that hair! I wonder if Jerry ever wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with nightmares of playing Robo-T. (Robo-T? Was he supposed to be an an actual robot?) Anyway besides acting, Jerry is a very talented voice actor who has worked on many television cartoons. Jerry has an official site of his own right here.

J.D. Daniels in 1990, and in B&W today

J.D. Daniels played the part of the director who was conveniently named J.D. too. J.D. is remembered for his work in The Mighty Ducks in 1992, but you can see he already had that bossy tough guy act down pat here. I'm happy to report J.D. seems to be a well adjusted adult, who is still acting, and can take a handsome B&W headshot. Check out his FaceBook page for more on what he's been up to.

Joey Shea in 1990, and today

Thankfully at the start of "Video Toy Chest" J.D. turned to a fellow child actor and said, "Ready Joey?" This made it easy to I.D. Joey Shea. Over the years Joey has worked on a couple of soap operas, but checking the IMDb there hasn't been anything listed since 2007. Also Joey has a MySpace page that's currently looking sorta abandoned. I assume he's doing OK, and with looks like that life can't be treating Joey too badly. Actually it's interesting to note that Joey had a reoccurring role on the PBS kids show Ghostwriter because...

Sheldon Turnipseed in 1990, and on Ghostwriter in 1995

In 1995 Sheldon Turnipseed became a lead actor on Ghostwriter. Two people from this "Video Toy Chest" thing became actors on Ghostwriter - what are the chances? It looks like Sheldon left acting after working on Ghostwriter. Today he is supposedly a naval officer and has changed his name. I don't understand the name change. I think Sheldon Turnipseed was an awesome name.

A cute Lacey Chabert in 1990, and a extremely hot Lacey
on the cover of Maxim in 2007

Arguably the most famous person from the "Video Toy Chest" is Lacey Chabert. She might still be best know for her work on FOX's Party of Five, but she has kept herself very busy with an extensive list of credits on her IMDb page. Yes Lacey certainly has grown up. Good lord, has she ever grown up.

A Scary Tale From Novi

This short video from 2001 was the last "creative" production I made for local government access television...



I had super high hopes to make this into a special half-hour show, but it never got off the ground. Former Novi Police Chief Lee Begole had done a show years earlier called Scary Tales From Novi where he simply recounted various local ghost stories and mysterious tales. I thought it would be great to reenact some of those stories for a new show.

I tried to get other city production staff excited by the idea because this was too big to do on my own, but unfortunately nobody really shared my enthusiasm. Even getting this modest little short completed was a chore.

I don't know what it was, but nothing seemed to go smoothly. It's always hard to get actors together for free, and this time I also needed someone with an old car. I wanted to actually show police officers searching the weeds and finding the graves stones, but I couldn't find costumes that looked like 1950's police uniforms. When it came time to do the BW grave stone shots I couldn't property use my tripod due to a missing mounting plate. I remember feeling that this project was cursed.

In the end it turned out OK. Although I think my narration kinda sounds like Criswell from Plan 9 From Outer Space (1958). I don't remember if that was intentional or not.

Music Videos from Hell: Part 3

Now it's time for my last scary music video post. These posts have been so exceptionally popular that Vh1 has contacted me, and I've agreed to turn them into a series of specials. Please look for Music Videos from Hell right after Lindsay Lohan's new reality show WTF Am I Doing to my Life? airing sometime in 2011.

Anyway let's look at a scary video now. In Between Days by The Cure is another one of those videos that's accidentally creepy. The song is very happy, but the trippy florescent makeup is spooky. I don't know what the stop-motion socks are all about.

The Cure - Inbetween Days from feelthemonster on Vimeo.

Let's jump from 1985, to the present day and take a look at Kids by MGMT. This video is a depiction of a small child's nightmare. I'm sure the band has gotten some sharp criticism for apparently terrifying a toddler thru nearly the entire video. (FYI: the actual song starts about 1 minute in)



I'm pretty sure the kid is OK, and wasn't traumatized by the experience in the slightest. Although those monsters were nothing compared to the horrendous futuristic wardrobe the band wears. Silver clothing is so unflattering.

Well I've save the scariest video for last. So if your nerves can take it, brace yourself for the most frightening music video ever...


I don't blame you if you had to look away. The horror... the horror...

Sir K. Daver's Mortuary Theater

Yes it's time for another Channel 12 holiday promo (you can check out my Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter and Valentine's promos if you'd like to see more)...



I remember thinking this was an epic production way back when. I made the candelabras, the gravestones, Lover's Lane sign and a cobweb machine (which I explained how to make here). Today you can buy a fog machine at the corner drugstore for about $19.99, but back then they were a bit more rare. I borrowed mine from the local fire department. Did it all turn out perfect? No, but I was pretty satisfied with the results.

Dennis Moylan played the faux horror movie host Sir K. Daver. Looking back, I'm thinking I should have given Dennis some sort of ghoulish makeup to wear to make him look cadaverous.

Bob Hamlin, (who played the Pilgrim in my Thanksgiving promo) played the Zombie. Bob Zimmerman and Sue Duminsky play the high school lovers. Bob and Sue had never met before the shoot, and I forced them to kiss on camera. I still feel kinda dirty about it to this day.

Music Videos from Hell: Part 2

It's time for another one of my very popular "scary" music video posts that have become the talk of the Internets...

Jeopardy by the Greg Kihn Band was released March of 1983 according to Wiki. The Wiki also says Michael Jackson's Thriller video was released December 2, 1983. If this is correct it's interesting to note that Greg Kihn came out with a zombie music video 10 months before Michael. Michael went on to became a music superstar, and this was Greg Kihn's only #1 hit. Maybe if the zombies in Jeopardy had the dance skills of the Thriller zombies things might have been different.

Also Jeopardy is a true music video - it was actually shot on video...


Now here's a video that's a little more current, Back Against The Wall by Cage The Elephant isn't trying to overtly scary like Jeopardy. It's just plain creepy, but it's also one of my favorite songs released this year...



Do those ugly garden gnomes look familiar to anyone? I think they resemble the scary little creatures from the 70's TV movie Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark (TV 1973)

Music Videos from Hell: Part 1

For some Halloween fun, I was thinking about taking a look at some scary music videos.

Sometimes they are intentionally "scary" like Michel Jackson's Thriller directed by John Landis, but other times I think the scariness was unintentional. I'll be showcasing both kinds of music videos this month.

The Aphex Twin video for Come to Daddy directed by Chris Cunningham is intentionally scary. Very aggressively scary, and according to the Wiki, "The music video was positioned number 35 in 100 Greatest Scary Moments, as voted by Channel 4 viewers in 2003."

Okay if you've never seen it, brace yourself for some seriously messed up stuff...


Man that's unpleasant to watch, but it's also genius. Chris Cunningham is a master at creating disturbing imagery. Check out his Rubber Johnny short for more of his expertly crafted grotesque weirdness.

Next is a video that I don't think was intended to be scary, but it is. Can your nerves withstand Bonnie Tyler and Total Eclipse of the Heart directed by Russell Mulcahy...



Wow there's everything but the kitchen sink this this video. It's so over the top you could write a dissertation on the underlying themes and symbolism.

Anyway as the video starts it's candles, slow-mo doves, and silk fabric blowing around. You may think it's just going to be some boring video filled with artsy romanticism, but then at the 45 second mark a school boy walks though the door with glowing green eyes. What the hell?

After the guy with the glowing green eyes there's so much other crap going on by the end of the video you practically forgot about him. Then wham! You get hit with the "Boys Choir of the Damned" who not only have the scary glowing eyes, but one boy even levitates.

I'm not sure the makers of this video were aware of how scary this stuff was. I think they were going for something more stylized than scary, but they unintentionally created a nightmare. Seriously what's scarier - the glowing eyed ghost pirates from John Carpenter's The Fog, a R rated horror film that was released around the same time as the music video...

John Carpenter's The Fog

... or the possessed boys choir from Total Eclipse of the Heart?

I don't know about you, but for sheer creepiness the ghost pirates ain't got nothing on that boys choir.

Valentine's Day in 2012

Here we go again with a blast from my past.

It's another Channel 12 holiday promo (you can check out my Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter promos if you'd like to see more)...



Looking beyond the shaky video quality, I think it's still pretty entertaining. Maybe you noticed how the areas on the left and bottom edge of the set were visible, but back in the day because of the bezels that surrounded old television picture tubes that was never visible like it is now.

The Year in FAIL

This video is pretty hilarious, even if some of the humans in this compilation got severely injured. It's the price you pay for Internet fame.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Turkey Day Surprise

Here we go again with a moldy oldie from my past.

It's another Channel 12 holiday promo (you can check out my Christmas, and Easter promos if you'd like to see more)...




This was one of my favorite holiday promos, and I was rather proud on how it all turned out.

It has good production value for something made for under ten bucks. Thanks to my mom for making the wonderful Pilgrim costume with almost nothing to work with. Also thanks to my actor, Bob Hamlin, (wherever you are today) for being a great Pilgrim.

About the only thing I wish I had, and it bothered me at the time was a blunderbuss for the Pilgrim's rifle (or as I liked to call it the "Uncle Fester rifle").

Also it would have been nice to have a big fake anvil to use instead of the "ye ciment blok." Some people have pointed out to me that it's misspelled. Yes I know that, it's intentionally misspelled. This was supposed to be a time before Noah Webster, and standardized spelling.

My Easter Promo: The Littlest Easter Egg

Do they even make television Easter specials anymore?

When I was a child there was always some sort of Rankin/Bass animated network special to look forward to watching. Shows like Here Comes Peter Cottontail which attempted to explain just who the heck this mysterious Easter Bunny was...



It was in the spirit of those holiday specials that I created this late 80's promo for the local community access channel.

Yes it's another blast from my past! Just like my Channel 12 Christmas promo, I share with you now another one of my first video creations - the Channel 12 Easter promo...



People seemed to like this promo a lot more than I expected. Even back in the day I thought it was terribly, terribly crude. I don't know, but maybe people always enjoy an underdog story no matter how crudely it's told.

A Regifted Christmas

For the holiday season I've always tried to do something uniquely special to show my love for my fellow humans at this joyous time of year. Nothing store bought will do. Oh no, it has to be something merry and festive that was created personally by me.

In the past I created my own Christmas cards, and in recent years, Christmas animations. I fully intended to carry on the tradition this year, but for various reasons I just never got around to making something.

So not to disappoint, I dug up something from the distant past I made. It's a video created on antiquated 3/4 inch equipment - which is now a completely extinct format. In a dark time when everything was analog, and the idea of digital non-linear editing was the stuff of science fiction.

I bring you the Channel 12 Community Access Christmas promo...



This was probably the first creative thing I ever got paid to do, and I made a channel promo for every major holiday. I thought about enhancing it with some flashy new graphics, or something, but except for the use of the Dr. Frankenstein ID I left this in all its questionable VHS quality glory.

Merry Christmas everyone!