Saturday, February 14, 2009

What's Your Guy-Q?

Just in time for Valentine's Day here's some valuable dating information for all my teenage girl readers.

(insert chirping crickets sound effect here)

Well let's be honest, I doubt any teenage girls have ever stumbled across this obscure silly blog. So for the rest of you (whoever you may be) I present "What's Your Guy-Q?" by celebrated author and all around groovy happening chick Ellen Peck.

I believe that is Ellen on the bicycle

This yellow pamphlet is some sort of promotion for Ellen's 1969 book How to Get a Teen-Age Boy and What to Do with Him When You Get Him.

Ellen Peck's now out of print book, but you can click the pic to purchase a used copy.

I like that sixties cartoon design on the book cover, but were females gigantic size in 1969, or were the guys just extra small?

Forward! click to embiggin

In the pamphlet's forward Ms. Peck states that she's against rigid rules, and is offering "techniques" for landing that elusive teenage boy.

Guide to Where and When a Pickup is OK

The entire pamphlet is basically easy to read tables like this guide to "Where and When a Pickup is OK." Note that a pickup is OK on an airplane (mile high club hello!) but it's NOT OK in the actual airport. I question why racetracks are listed since that seems like an odd and potentially unsavory place for teens to meet. Also zoos are totally out of the question for a pickup.

Beachcomber's Prop Guide for Better Boy Hunting

I've got to admit that the broken sunglasses ploy on the above table is ingenious.

Male of the Species - Genus High School - Where to Track Him and How

I guess I'm a mix of #7, #8 and #9, but I'd call myself a Daydreamer and not an Escapist.

Let's assume that Danny's your quarry...

Here's a table for tracking down "Danny," you know, that nice boy down the street. Let's cut to the chase: Danny's big sister and his best friends are the best ways to make contact. Forget about trying to go through his dog's vet if you want to meet him.

Danny Maze

Hey it's a maze. Your mileage may very, but it's not too hard to solve.

Conversation Topic for Use with Parents

Last but not least is the conversation topic thermometer. It's obvious that "your sexual activities" are the hottest topic of conversation. It's hilarious the "Swedish movies" are the second hottest (if you don't understand why this would be a hot topic of conversation in 1969 just click here.) It's a little confusing why "Your views on current events" is in the danger zone, "current events" are in the neutral zone, and "your parents' views on current events" are in the safe zone - seems like there could be a fine line between these.

Maybe it's just me, but when has the U.S. Postal System ever been a topic of conversation? Seriously? I guess if you work for the U.S. Postal System possibly, but even then...


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