Going Out With A Bang

To end the month long celebration of Valentines here's a sizzling selection of tiny vintage B&W ads found in the back of popular magazines...

This above ad for a set of naughty strip tease hi-ball glasses seems like something I might have found in some smutty gentleman's magazine. Nope it's from Family Circle November 1976.  Yeah that surprised me too.

In the same issue of Family Circle was this ad for Frederick's of Hollywood.  That's not so surprising, but I'm kinda confused by the copy in this ad. Take a round trip to Hollywood? How is a catalog subscription a round trip?  Is that supposed to be an allusion to something? Well anyways, I get an excuse to post the the pic of the sexy 70's cartoon lingerie lady.

This is my favorite ad of those tiny B&W ads.  Various versions ran continually for years, but I like this one from 1973 the best.  The "BLOW YOURSELF UP"  really catches ones eye. It's probably too much of a stretch to think this service for enlarging (or blowing up) of a photograph has any connection to the popularity of Antonioni's Blow-up (1966).  I don't think the film was that popular.  I mean when I saw that film I thought it might have been fun to be a mod fashion photographer in 60's London - not a desire to blow-up my photographs.

Actually "blowing yourself up" makes me think of that classic SCTV skit...

We must, we must, we must increase our bust!

Last month I posted a bunch of comic book ads for muscle building systems and products directed at young male readers, and since turnabout is fair play here's something for the ladies - it's a 1976 ad for the Mark Eden Bust Developer...

As you might have guessed this product didn't quite live up to the claims, and after 11 counts of mail fraud it was finally taken off the market in 1981.  If you'd like to see what you got if you sent in your $10.45 back in the 70's check out Julie's Tacky Treasures for some photos and more info.

Big Wally and Other 'Big' Things

Here's a magazine ad from 1973, this time it's an ad for Big Wally...

...and in keeping with my sexy Valentine's theme this month, the name "Big Wally" reminds me of Big Jim Slade from Kentucky Fried Movie (1977).  And the capitol of Nebraska is Lincoln! 



Hey, I found another "Big Jim" from the 70's, it's the Big Jim action figure by Mattel.  Here's a Big Jim commercial with a "joke" added by the uploader...



Hmm, Big Jim & Big Josh reminds me of the work of Tom of Finland.  Tom's work is certainly 'BIG' in a matter of speaking, but before you click the link I must warn you - if you don't know who Tom of Finland is you may not like where the interweb rabbit holes take you. I try to keep things pretty clean around here, and I've only linked to the "TOF" Wiki, but you'll very quickly find yourself in XXX territory if you search for more "Tom."

Let's take this post full circle, and finish with something more in the spirit of this blog.  So as sort of a palate cleanser here's the commercial for Big Wally who will clean more than just walls, and that's more cleaning than any of those other 'Mr. Bigs' I wrote about will do for you...

It's not the size of the cigarette, but the motion of the ocean

Here's a rather suggestive magazine ad from 1976...

This hip and happening 70's guy doesn't want your judgement, but just so you know he's packing Winston Super King - it's got "extra length."  wink, wink...

By chance I also found his hip and happening female advertisement counterpart online. She likes the taste of a Winston Long...

I feel dirty now.

Love Stinks

Here's a very 'sexy' magazine ad from 1973 for stinky cheese...

This Liederkranz cheese ad uses words like "sensuous" and "lusty" to describe its smell, but over on Dave's Cupboard his Liederkranz review and reader comments use words like "flatulent," "outhouse" and "rotten socks on a humid August day."

If you didn't already know by now, Liederkranz is the American version of Limburger cheese.  Also interestedly, Liederkranz returned to the market in 2010 after a 25 year absence.

Well although the ad's copywriter tries hard, it's difficult to make any sort of cheese sexy.  The makers of the erotic eighties film Nine 1/2 Weeks (1986) knew this, and excluded la fromage from the famous food scene...



... hmm, maybe it's just me, but this seems like a big mess that would need to be cleaned up after your done.

How do I love thee? Let me blog the ways...

It's February, and that means Valentine's Day is coming up soon.  In celebration of Valentine's Day I thought I'd get all sentimental and 'romantical' with the posts this month.  Maybe even a little bit sexy, but not too sexy, so cool your jets there rocket boy.

When I mean sexy I mean something like this fun risqué retro birthday card...

Front

Inside

That naked redhead has a little bit of a Red Hot Riding Hood thing going on.

This card is from the now defunct and essentially forgotten Laurel Cards Inc. of Cleveland.  I don't know the date of the card, but I'd guess it's somewhere between 1955-1965.  Here's the back of the card in case these numbers should mean anything to anyone out there.