Letter from Hostess

Here's one last food related post before the month ends.  With the mess that happened over at Hostess this month I thought I might as well post about something that was sent to me last month...

I regularly buy Beefsteak Pumpernickel Bread exclusively for making sandwiches. That is I use to buy Beefsteak Pumpernickel Bread since it's currently unavailable.

I like the bread just fine, but the signature domed shape of the Beefsteak Bread line can make sandwich making challenging.  The first few slices are always going to make a small sandwich, but sometimes the first slice is so small it's unusable.  Occasionally the first slice is about the size of a poker chip, and that's a problem when there's an even number of slices per bag - you're going to be a slice short went you get to the end of the loaf.

So I called the customer support number on the bread bag, and told the courteous support person my problem.  A week later I had two coupons for a free loaf of Beefsteak Bread.  At the time I didn't know they were owned by Hostess...

I hope Hostess will return soon.

Morton Donut Shop Frozen Donuts

Morton Donut Shop frozen donuts was a 1970's product that lasted about as long as plaid polyester bell-bottoms were fashionable.  Which is my way of saying the product wasn't around to ring in 1980.  Check out the magazine ad...

Is there a full grown adult anywhere who actually dreams about donuts?

Probably the main reason this product didn't last was the fact it was frozen.  I mean who wants wait for their donuts to thaw before eating them. For example, if you read the directions on this box of Morton Donut Shop Boston Creme Donuts (uploaded to Flickr by JasonLiebig) it took a lengthy 2 hours to thaw...

Also most everyone in the country has a real donut shop within a short driving distance of their home.  If you really wanted a freshly made donut in the 70's there was probably a Dunkin' Donuts just around the corner...



Munchkins donuts and Mason Reese go together like ham and eggs, peanut butter and jelly, or Pop Rocks and Coke. 

The Birth of Instant Stuffing

I don't know if you heard, but it's the 40th anniversary of instant stuffing.  Stove Top stuffing was introduced to a grateful public back in 1972.  Check out this magazine ad from 1973...

And of course, the rest is history. Soon people everywhere were quick to choose Stove Top stuffing instead of potatoes...



Seeing that old General Foods logo was one of those, "Oh, yeah I remember that thing" kinda moments.

If you're wondering what happened to General Foods, they merged with Kraft back in 1990.

Anyway, when Stove Top was introduced it didn't have the market to its self for very long.  Almost immediately there were competitors, like Uncle Ben's Stuff'n Such seen in this 1973 ad...

Uncle Ben's Stuff'n Such didn't last.  Maybe it didn't catch on since it was baked, and took longer to prepare than Stove Top.  Or maybe it failed because it was called Uncle Ben's Stuff'n Such.

Although Uncle Ben had another bold new product back in 1973 up his sleeve, Uncle Ben's 5 Minute Rice & Gravy...

Rice and gravy in the very same box was probably a product ahead of its time.  I still don't think the world is ready.

  

Taste the Rainbow... of Cheese

I think it's safe to say the golden age of Kraft Singles was probably the early 70's.  Today there's only a few varieties of Kraft Singles available in your grocers dairy case, but according to this magazine ad from 1973 there once was an impressive 11 varieties available...

... and if you were overwhelmed by all those choices here's the text heavy supporting page with helpful recipe ideas to guide your Singles selections.

That wasn't the end of the 70's Kraft cheese varieties either.  Today if you want  Kraft brand finely processed cheese loaves all you have is Velveeta, but in 1973 there were three loaves varieties to choose from...

Here's a 1970's Kraft Singles commercial (followed by a Dristan Nasal Mist, and
Purina Cat Chow commercial), and an epic 70's Kraft Cheese commercial featuring the "Ballard of J.L. Kraft."



Switching gears to ice cream topping, Kraft was all over it in 1973.  Just like the Kraft Singles this ad shows there were once 11 toppings to choose from, and a there's a coupon for 11¢ off for good measure.  Somewhere Nigel Tufnel is happy...

In case this ad has you hankering for some Kraft toppings, sadly Kraft is totally out of the ice cream topping business today.

Everthing is Food Machines*

It's the month of the big turkey feast, and that means a month of food related posts here on ye olde QIPI.

I thought I'd kick things off with a look at food machines. If you ask me appliance manufactures need to really step up their game.  It's almost 2013, and I  want futuristic machines that will actually prepare and cook the food for you like the Jetson's Foodarackacycle...

I won't be happy until all my food is prepared entirely robotically, and therefore completely untouched by human hands.  I'd take that over flying cars any day.

In the meantime we'll have to make due with not-so-futuristic food processors. The built-in Ronson Foodmatic seen in this ad from 1973 looks like the Cadillac of food processors...

The internet tells me that Frank Sinatra supposedly had one of these installed in his kitchen.  That's a pretty good endorsement. I'm sure Old Blue Eyes demanded only the best.  I wonder if the rest of the Rat Pack got one too.

If the Ronson Foodmatic is too rich for your blood, there's always the Veg-O-Matic...



...or how about the Kitchen Magician...



Hmm, seems almost as impressive as one of David Blaine's stunts. Although the Kitchen Magician sure looks a lot like the Salad Queen...




* Sung to the tune of "Everything is Food" from the 1980 motion picture Popeye.